"If a tree fell in the woods,...and no one was there to hear it fall...would it still make a sound? Or just "silently" crush the brains out of the skulls of the family of Squirrels feeding on the ground below it?"
"If "to" plus "to" equals "four"
then what does "fro" plus "fro" equal?"
"Suicide is absolutely ridiculous...we are all going to die sooner or later anyway, might as well hang around and see if we win the lottery"
"Everyone needs a nice big dose of reality
every once in awhile...
and a nice big joint for all the times in between."
"If you are losing your hair,
then shave your friggen' head...
the Mayor of Munchkinland look is totally out!
and the comb over is out of the question!"
"Why is it at an early age when our ocular acuity is at it's peak we take our surroundings so for granted...but as we age and start to truly appreciate the beauty around us our vision becomes progressively impaired?"
"Intelligence, character, music, love, desire, ability, truth, sharing, laughter, family,...all of these things know no race or creed...let it fucking go already"
"Stamp out poverty...kill a poor person."
"Some women wonder where all the real men have gone...but these same women seem so busy trying to act like real men themselves they are oblivious to the debilitating gender reversal they imply."
"There are no hard women...just soft men."
"If one things leads to another...
What does two things lead to?"
"Behind every great man there is a great woman,
But behind every great woman is a grateful man."
"If history does repeat itself and I believe it does,...
I hope it is closed captioned to accommodate the enormous amount of hearing impaired U.S. citizens"
"Food is much like a woman...
When your hungry, you can't think of anything else,
but when your full you wonder why you even have a refrigerator in the first place."
Song Clip is "Empty Glass"
